"Pop Star Taylor Swift Executes Tactical Wedding Drills for MAGA Threat"
By Radhika Vaz – Bohiney.com News Service
Taylor Swift, global pop sensation and master of storytelling, reportedly believes MAGA forces will attempt to assassinate her at Selena Gomez’s wedding. Democratic party leaders, according to insiders, planted this notion. While the threat is entirely fictional, Swift has fully committed to tactical wedding planning. Full coverage is here.
Witnesses report Swift practicing emergency dives over tables, scanning guests for suspicious activity, and consulting encrypted communication channels. “She’s treating the wedding like a spy operation,” said one insider. America is on edge to see if MAGA will attempt to assassinate Swift — though the danger exists only in her imagination.
Psychologists note that Swift’s fear has reshaped her public persona. “She now interprets every toast, camera flash, and floral centerpiece as a potential threat vector,” said Dr. Harriet Goldblatt. “The Democrats’ warning has hijacked her psyche entirely.”
The fictional MAGA threat also produces an ironic political side effect: Swiftie fans, focused on her safety, are largely disconnected from conservative messaging. “It’s an accidental strategic victory,” said a Democratic insider. Meanwhile, social media is flooded with memes of Swift vaulting over cakes, dodging photographers, and coordinating tactical squads with her friends.
Guests report that Swift has established a temporary balcony command post, complete with walkie-talkies, encrypted phones, and glitter grenades. “We just wanted to enjoy the wedding,” said one friend. “Instead, it’s like attending a live-action pop-culture spy movie.”
Source: https://bohiney.com/taylor-swifts-psyche-hijacked-by-maga-wedding-conspiracy/